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If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
If there is no chocolate in heaven...I AM NOT GOING!
Summer vacation: Where you drink triple, see double and act single.
Don`t ask me how my night was coz I don`t know. I was asleep.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
Perverts can contribute to society. Look at the disturbed individual who discovered cow`s milk.
My weekends are basically just spent splitting a bloomin` onion with my bros at Outback Steakhouse while trying to figure out why girls don`t like us.
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
Always finish your beer. There`s sober kids in Africa.
I`ve found the most effective way to get an attractive guy to fall for me is by simply using my charm... and then a stun gun.
I don`t drink to get drunk, I drink to.....no wait, I definitely drink to get drunk.
I got a Rolex for my birthday from my lesbian friends. I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
I thought eyelashes were meant to keep stuff out of your eye but half the time there is anything in my eye its an eyelash!
Maybe one day a loooong time ago a kid decided to play hide and seek with his pet Bigfoot but just didn`t explain the game properly.
Another year has passed. I`ve just about given up on the Mayans.