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Between Criminal Minds, CSI, Law and Order, Castle, and Monk...I am now fairly confident I can get away with pretty much anything.
Super Bowl Sunday, the one day of the year that DVR`s are used to watch commercials, instead of skip them!
If you think I hate you ... I probably do.
Until they get this spell-check problem with the iPhone fixed, it would be best not to text your wife and tell her she is looking fit.
One of my female friend is reading a book called "Learn to drive in a week" for the last 3 years.
Pro Tip: If you`re on the bus, and wearing headphones, people can still hear you fart.
Lust is not real love and Tombstone is not real pizza, but both are fine when you`re drunk.
They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".
If you don`t like my facebook posts, feel free to delete me and solely visit your friends` pages where the big news of the day is when their grandkids finally took a $hit all by themselves.
It`s a bird.. it`s a plane..no wait..it`s a blade of grass....
love me or leave me,,HEY!!! where is everybody going?
Not sure if people stopped saying YOLO or if everyone who said it died.
When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a bastard.
Hey, chicks who have words tattooed on your tits... We didn`t come here to read.
Once again its friday I know its only been 7 days since the last one but feels like its been a week....