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If you`ve never played Tetris, you`re probably useless at loading a dishwasher
Love is grand. Divorce is 100 grand.
New kitchen game: `Fridge and Cupboard Tetris`- Putting the possibility of being pummeled by a food avalanche on a whole new level of adventure.
To show my support for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I`ll be giving free breast exams all month. Hit me up if you`re interested.
Just...sitting...thinking...planning my next move to get that new roll of toilet paper about 5 feet away from me.
I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
My mission is to be the first person on Facbook to have one million people on their block list. . .
What is Warm, Soft, Sticky and has a Hole in the middle? It`s a Fresh donut. I was way off on that one!
Pork is awesome, but it`s best when used as a verb.
You know when I was younger I was under the impression that quick sand was going to be a serious issue in life...
The two major causes of depression are: a) having a job, and b) not having a job.
I`m painting a blue square in the backyard... so Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
Do you women realize how silly you all look with your clothes on?
Just because I know I`m a "Good looking, extremely intelligent, funny as hell, sexy ass, Motherf#ker" doesn`t mean I`m "Conceited"...Im more like a "Realist", that just so happens to be very good with adjectives!...A "Bad-Ass Realist", that is!
Tip to reduce weight, first turn your head to the left and then turn it to the right. Repeat this exercise every time you are offered something to eat.