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Social media - keeping people away from each other since 2006.
If I have offended you, hurt you, belittled you in any manner, then I want you to know that I was only just getting started.
Hmmmm, thats odd. . . .According to this height / weight chart. . . . I`m too short.
only fights if pillows are present.
Just once Iād like to learn something the easy way.
Hmmmm what should I buy myself for Valentines day.
i hope your life is as long and useful as this roll of toilet paper!!!
Press 1 for someone who probably learned English last month, but is going to try and communicate effectively with you anyway.
I`ve seen people tear a phone book in half with their bare hands & I just had to use scissors to open a bagged salad.
This would be a lot more fun drunk - Me, to everything.
If you still can read this, please inform me ASAP because I have probably blocked the wrong person!
Someone invited me to their dog`s birthday party on Saturday. What a freak! I am NOT coming to your dog`s birthday party! Besides, my cat is getting married that weekend!
Have you ever listened to somebody speak and wonder who ties their shoelaces for them?
My nickname at work is "HR wants to see you"
You can tell a lot about a woman by how she slices brownies. For example: if she throws the knife at you, you should pick up some Midol.