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Is that a selfie or did you just photobomb a picture of your filthy bathroom?
When I got divorced, we split the house. I got the outside....
Roses are red. Monsters are green. Just look in the mirror. You`ll know what I mean.
Home Alone (1990, Comedy) Two burglars attempt to murder an abandoned 8-year-old child
Sometimes just to annoy my therapist, I ask him, "So how does my lack of progress make you feel?"
If you died and went to he!l, how long will it take you to realise that you aren`t still at work?
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
I believe in equality. If we have a 5 day week of work, we should have 5 day weekends as well dammit.
I like calling the Psychic Hotline and asking them what I`m wearing.
This is odd?!?! The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.
I`m single by choice. Just not my choice.
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....
SEX! Now that I got your attention. I just wanted to say, "Have a great weekend!"
Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.
A fear of mine is a proctologist with poor depth perception!