Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What a terrible day. I`m going to drive through puddles & splash pedestrians to make myself feel better,
Doing pretty good so far on my 1500 calorie a day diet as long as I don`t eat anything else today and tomorrow.
Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam`s ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.
I pack an hour before leaving for a trip but unpacks 3 months after coming home
If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.
When you`re out & your cell battery is low: 1) lower screen brightness 2) turn off WiFi 3) crawl under table 4) weep softly til help arrives
Whenever our neighbor`s dog is barking, I know there`s either someone at their door or literally anything else in the universe has happened.
Coffee is just a hug for your insides.
I know exactly how a bomb technician feels when I try to open a cup of cherry mixed fruit without the juice spraying out.
Why is the guy who serves you at the restaurant called a waiter, when it is you that is waiting?
I just bought an answering machine! What should I ask it?
If I pretend to be dead will you stop talking?
Money can’t buy you happiness? Well, poverty can’t buy you anything.
I would know if I was insane, the voices would tell me.
funny status idea: a funny and popular one