Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just because they sell yoga pants in XXL doesn`t mean it`s ok to wear them in public.
I am the bestest at the English language...
Whoever said your harshest critic is yourself was clearly never married.
This status is mine....I licked it.
My give a damn is busted! Parts on backorder....
Why is it that when my wife refers to her friends as "girlfriends" its normal but when i call my male friends "boyfriends" i lose my friends?
I already want to take a nap tomorrow.
Trust me, when they make a pill that REALLY makes your d!ck grow, that commercial will be on during the Super Bowl, not 3am!
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
I always tell the person at the drive-thru that they are so much prettier than I pictured them when I was ordering.
I don’t appreciate the 5 minute radio ads about how commercial-free the station is.
Lazy Rule#15325434090371466: you`re so lazy you didn`t even finish reading the number.
Excellent Group Ice Breaker: Do you think sailors feel pressured to swear?
I am sorry I wasn`t being completely honest when I said I was normal.
It`s not "you`re" or "your". It`s mine. It`s all mine, everything is mine!