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Stop dwelling on the past and start f*cking up the future.
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
Cats have been named the #1 pet held hostage by lonely women.
I maybe wrong but I doubt it.
If I could get a firm grip on reality...I`d probably choke it.
If you think about it,, Batman was pretty lazy about naming all his stuff.
Just wrote ‘You have no new messages’ on a piece of paper, put it in a bottle and threw it far out to sea.
I`m fat, but I blame my dog for not exercising me enough.
Life is fun! You should get one.
Sorry I can`t make it to your party tonight- I have to get up REALLY early tomorrow afternoon.
If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read.
This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents.
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not dogs with rabies though. Or killer bees or pretty much any domesticated animal into the wild. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don`t love anything.
Saw a wasp in a spider web and I don`t know who to root for.
These ‘energy saving` light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.