Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When someone is in a bad mood, I like to help matters by pointing out several times that they seem to be in a bad mood.
So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
Why do people who insult themselves get mad when you agree with them?
So,do people in England speaks American now that people in America speaks English?
i feel naked without my mobile !
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because you have incriminating evidence.
I keep having this recurring nightmare that lasts 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.
The best stories ever told always end with the words”…and then I got the hell out of there.”
I was like "No, Pepsi is NOT ok. I wanted a Coke." And she was all "Sir, 911 should only be dialed for real emergencies."
I keep hitting the escape key ... But I`m still here.
My friend said "hey that girl has a nice butt" I said "yes i bet she can sit down excellently "
I finally finished my 4,000 piece jigsaw puzzle. It reads- " Get a life you sad F**k "
Don`t refer to them as voices in your head. Do as the professionals and call them your `team of writers`
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to just ignore you.
Some days you`re the Titanic, some days you`re the iceberg and some days you`re that guy who hit the propeller on the way down.