Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Congratulations! You’ve just read this sentence.
According to Tetley the best way to make a cup of tea is to agitate the bag so i slap her arse and shout "cup ot tea fatty"
There’s no excuse for my behavior, so I’m drinking until I have one.
You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they`re trying on clothes in the fitting room.
Dear grumpy people: donuts are only $.99
Have you ever partied so hard that you feel like you may have damaged your DNA?
Saying that your company has been in business since the 1800`s isn`t a selling point. Slavery existed then too...
Random Thought: How do bats hang upside down without crapping on themselves?
Shout out to old people for graduating high school without Google.
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
Just found out the government won`t hire you past age 37. Scratch Navy SEAL off my to do list
You call it camping. I call it getting drunk with insects.
Damn girl are you a cobweb cause you`re really clingy and annoying
One dog was admiring another dog`s leash, and said, "I admire your restraint."
I asked my girlfriend why she never tells me when she orgasms. She said she doesn`t like phoning me at work.