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“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure” would be a terrible way to let your child know that they’re adopted.
?-- that guy is cute ?
Standing up: Wow, I`m actually kind of skinny. Sitting down: Okay, maybe not..
I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.
I was going to get married, but my wife refuses to sign the divorce papers
Women are angels, and when someone breaks our wings, we continue to fly…on a broomstick. We’re flexible that way.
I can`t tell if I actually have free time, or if I`m just forgetting everything...
one day a man seen a fairy, and asked.... could you make me irresistible to all women.... so she turned him into a credit card. :`D
For a generation that allowed YOLO, BAE, and KIM KARDASHIAN to happen, you sure have a lot of f*cking opinions on how things should be run.
Inspirational status of the day: Don’t be a douche.
It`s damn funny when a wife think`s she`s punishing her husband by not talking to him for days..
Still have my French Maid costume in case any of you have a dirty house. I`ll be happy to sit there and look sexy while your wife cleans....
I turned out ok for a kid raised in a large part by Bugs Bunny.
Wouldn`t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 mins and come out wrinkle free and 2 sizes smaller...
I’m so glad I was young and stupid before there were camera phones.