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I don’t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading toward a lowered self-esteem and irregular bowel movements.
Hey, if anyone needs help raising their kids, come talk to me. I`ve been one for 30 some years now.
What thinks the unthinkable? An itheberg.
At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women.
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
Dear Cashier: Stop giving me attitude and acting like your job is so complicated and stressful. Self-Checkout has proven that you are really unnecessary.
It`s so cold outside you can see your farts.
You know it`s time to get a girlfriend when you masturbate in different positions
Billion dollar idea: A phone that charges using body fat!
Juvenile humor My friend David lost his ID. We just call him Dav now. Here`s your sign..................
I swear I saw a guy earlier today that had no chin and all I could think about was, how does he put on pillow cases?
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
Jail is just the government`s way of sending you to your room.
Wouldn’t it be a smart idea? To make the sticky part on envelopes taste like chocolate?