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Hurricane preparedness tip: 1. Buy several kegs of beer 2. Drink beer 3. Wait for flooding 4. Drop kegs in water 5. Float to safety....
We all have that friend who acts innocent but understands all the dirty jokes.
Breakfast in bed probably means you are dating someone. Dinner in bed means you`re probably single.
Let`s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
You know it`s gonna be a sh!tty day when you put your bra on backwords and it fits better.
1: Say "Unh! 2: Mumble three spanish words. 3: list four cities. You just made a Pitbull song.
If cleanliness is next to godliness, then my car is Satan`s chariot.
My "check engine" light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there...silly light.
It`s important to teach your children math so they can better understand what episode of Star Wars they are watching.
Your name should be Gelette because you`re the best a man can get
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I`m driving.
At what number beer are you offically not working from home anymore?
Laughing is the best medicine. But if you’re laughing for no reason, you need medicine.
be smart, pretend to be stupid!
The term "chubby chasers" is so inaccurate and misleading. Cause we don`t run.