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All I`m saying is that the cheese grater wouldn`t have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after every use.
For Halloween I`m going as an invisible person. I will be at all your parties.
A word of advice, stay on my good side. My good side is in Hawaii.
Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
im like the government: i spend money on things that aren`t important, and spend most of my time trying to explain to people why i need them.
How long do I have to wear these skinny jeans before they start working?
I wonder if Sallys parents were like "Yeah great idea Sally. Sell seashells. On the seashore. Where there are tons of free shells. Idiot."
NO, I didn`t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
Did you know that doughnuts make your clothes shrink?
Sometimes bigger is just heavier
So far, I`ve had exactly "call my ex" number of beers tonight!!!
Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls. Koalas will be koalas. Just about everything will be the things they are. That`s how this works.
My favorite part about your rant on how much you hate social media sites was when you posted it from a social media site.
Sometimes I can`t figure out if I`m in pre-school... high school.. oh wait, I`m at work.
I entered what I ate for lunch into my calorie counting app and it uninstalled itself.