Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What´s the difference between light and hard? You can go to bed with a light on.
Considering I`m broke, I wonder if she`ll let me be her sugar-free daddy.
I like to respond to statuses with .. WOW, Someone needs a Happy Meal.
When I become president I will make Monday a part of the weekend.
Everyone can stop painting. We all have cameras that can take perfect pictures of everything.
I wouldn`t be surprised if my kids think the phrase "goddamn douchebag" means someone who pulls out in front of your car without signaling.
is a mystery you´ll never solve
Ways to die: Steal my food.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
He won`t let me complain to the neighbors, so I renamed the WiFi to `SHUT YOUR DOG UP, D!CKS`
I may hate waiting. But I love procastinating.
You being crazy doesn`t bother me. It`s you being crazier than me...That makes me freakin` jealous.
A girl updated her facebook status saying: All men are dogs and I commented • Which breed is your dad?
What idiot decided it should be my foot`s asleep instead of coma toes?
I`m the type of person that will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened days ago.