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Life is harder for the beautiful people. I’m sorry you’ll never know.
There’s a bald spot in my yard so I’m gonna let the grass around it grow really long and then do a comb-over.
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
Did you hear that? That was the sound of soccer being irrelevant in the US for another 4 years..
Walmart is one store where it is truly acceptable to shop in your pajamas.
Even this posting will offend some people, hopefully.
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
Waterfalls are a beautiful, majestic sight as they pour down upon the rocky crags below. Unless you`re in a canoe and about to plummet to your death. Then waterfalls sorta suck.
I`ve already had two beers which automatically means my day is already better than yours.
Roses are red, violets are blue, daisies are white, sunflowers are yellow. This florist has everything.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they´re going to be when you kill them.
Leaving a watermelon on someone’s doorstep in the middle of night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.
You sure do seem to know a lot about love and relationships for someone who spends 22 hours a day on Facebook.
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.