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when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
"You`re right I`m sorry. You`re right I`m sorry. You`re right I`m sorry. You`re right I`m sorry" - me practicing for a successful relationship.
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me to the car.
I don`t regret burning bridges. I regret that some people weren`t on those bridges when I burned them.
It’s a little sad that today’s youth don’t get to experience a red rubber dodgeball to the face like we did back in the day.
Admitting you have a problem is half the battle. Convincing everyone else that they`re the problem is the other half.
I regret buying that straight jacket now. I thought it would look good on me but I just couldn`t pull it off...
If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
Fun Fact: You can win all arguments with your man by putting on yoga pants and walking away.
If you try to fail but you succeed which have you done?
Fun Game: Walk down a hallway with both arms outstretched to the walls while shouting, "Hug me or turn around!!!"
I just discovered my oven CAN CLEAN ITSELF! Naturally I will be searching my apartment looking for similar buttons.
You know what`s wrong with winning a hundred thousand dollars? ... Not a damn thing!
Don`t EVER break a pinky promise. That sh!t is LEGIT.
Women forgive and forget but always make sure you don`t forget that they forgave you and forgot about it.