Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes I think if it weren`t for the gutter my mind would be homeless...
Walmart killed the traveling circus.
If Harry Potter is so magical then why can’t he fix his eye sight?
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, “Yes, we’ve met before.” So they feel awkward trying to remember me.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they say "to boldly go where no one has gone before", when they get there, they always meet someone?
"Dora" only rhymes with "Explorer" if you`re from Long Island, New York
I need my coffee before I start pretending to work.
is experiencing life at a rate of several wtf´s a minute
This is not the status message you are looking for .... Move along
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed.
I`ll never fall in love untill and unless love falls on me!
When I go into a bar I shout out "YOU CHEATING WHORE!" Whoever turns around is who I`m buying drinks for.
If you love something,, let it go..... That`s EXACTLY what I`ve done with my body....
Suddenly I can`t remember if it`s ok to use tampons as Nerf darts or if it`s the other way around.
Is it too early to start drinking? - some moron with a clock.