Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When I woke up today, I had no plans to be awesome, it just happened.
Decisions decisions ... Guess I`ll drink on it.
Just about the time I started to give a crap, my attitude became constipated......
Bipolar smile :(: ...... Gets um everytime !
Women`s logic: I went to buy a suit. But i saw a beautiful pair of shoes. So i bought this handbag.
1,000 Ways To Die is so unrealistic. There`s no episode where a man asks a woman `what`s wrong?`
I was going to LIKE and compliment your FB pic, but I`m not a good liar.
I have never met a woman without wondering what her box of cookie recipes looks like.
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools.
Everything is a boomerang if you throw it upwards.
It`s hard to trust people. Even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
So many fun things to say … too many relatives on Facebook to post!
Lightning is like God`s way of saying "Get out of that tree you pervert!"
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets!
You know you`re drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seatbelt on