Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Whoever lost a bundle of $20 bills tied up in a rubber band..I found the rubber band..
It`s called PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
Limbo champion walks into a bar...he`s disqualified.
RUN? I thought you said Rum. I quit.
Those Box Tops that raise money for schools really should be on wine labels and cases of beer.
Did you know that running for just 10 minutes a day raises your risk of posting inspirational quotes by 63%?
Alcohol is like laxatives for constipated thoughts. The more you drink, the more sh!t that comes out your mouth.
We Should Have A Way Of Telling People Their Breath Stinks Without Hurting Their Feelings. Like: "I`m bored, let`s go brush our teeth"
Cats don`t come with instructions, so how is anyone supposed to know you can`t put them in the washing machine.
Pocketwatches were replaced by wristwatches, which became digitalwatches, which were replaced by mobile phones. Which we keep in our pockets
Actions speak louder than passive aggressive Facebook statuses.
What’s a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
My girlfriend wanted me to come shopping, but I had a headache... I must have caught it from her last night when we didn`t have sex.
There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes……how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?
Nothing says you mean business more than putting on a bib before you eat a girl out