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The women at this gym act like nobody’s ever tried taking their measurements before.
Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind. Hey Mickey. Hey Hey Mickey!..face it you didn’t read that, you sang it.
Sorry I called the police when I saw you running, I didn`t know you did that for fun.
My left buttcheek fell asleep. I`m Half-a$$ing everything I do for the next ten minutes.
The good thing about being 6' 6? is that if I develop a bald patch, no one will see it..Unless you’re using Google Earth.
"Lets all put our phones down and talk with each other.." - Someone who has run out of phone battery.
Nothing tests that whole "for better or worse" thing like the question "does this look infected?"
Fitness nuts have to do an entire marathon to feel a runner`s high..... I just have to bend over and tie my shoes.
Worrying: a waste of imagination.
Government shutdown day 8: Electricity still works. Water is still running. No cool gangs to join yet. Worst apocalypse ever.
Do people who exercise not know about ice cream and Netflix?
Destiny may decide who touches your Life. Your heart may decide who touches your Soul. But…Tequila decides who touches your body
I put the hot in psychotic.
Didn`t leave home today. It was too peopley out there.
Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.