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Arguing with a woman is like buying a lottery ticket, you`re proably not gonna win, but you`re sure as hell gonna try!
About to try ordering subway without saying um... Wish me luck!
Psychology — Even trying to spell it correctly screws with your head.
If you`re stuck in a group text, one easy way to get out is to throw your phone in the ocean and start a new life.
Anyone that says I`m a lover not a fighter has clearly never been in a relationship over 6 months
The problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude about the problem.
Theirye’re, problem solved.
It turns out that playing strip solitaire isn`t nearly as much fun as playing strip poker. Especially at work...
I really think there should be a separate driving lane for those of us running solely on caffeine and rage.
Did you know , that if you use asterisk , you can do anything you want ? * gets on a t-rex and gallops away into the sunset *
What is it about a car that makes people think we can`t see them pick their nose?
You wanna know where I`m ticklish? Hawaii.
:): The Bipolar smiley face
I just had Déjà vu...and you were an asshole both times.
I quit beer every time I wake up hung over