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All I see on Facebook is penis, orgasm, bang him, bang her, bullwhip, masturbate, porn, tits, and then I read everyone else`s posts..
The olympics is the only time when you hear "Great execution by North Korea" and it seems okay.
When people with multiple personality disorders are about to die, whose life flashes before their eyes?
I’m at the doctor’s office & they don’t know why I have this rash on my balls. Guess I’ll wait for the Dr, these other patients are clueless.
Let me check my giveashitmeter ... nope nothing.
I`ve learned to take life as it comes...straight with no chaser.....
I don’t always have a cool Facebook status, but when I do, an older relative ruins it with a lame comment.
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the “M” is silent.
You don`t have to be crazy to work here ... We`ll train you.
I found my first grey pubic hair today. Normally things like this don`t bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
My dentist said I grind at night. I was like, ok stalker.
I`m only materialistic when I shop at the liquor store.
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to "grow up," I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
I think they put less beers in twelve packs these days.
When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?