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Please do not read this.
I have done some truly amazing things to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube.
You`ve never been truly drunk until you`ve had to use a barstool as a walker to get home.
People with pierced nipples have no excuse for losing their keys.
says if you don`t like the way I live my life, than there is some good news... you aren`t me!!
Isn`t it strange that bankruptcy attorneys don`t let you make payments....
Law and Order is just Blue`s Clues for adults.
Social networking sites is proof that people should not be allowed to name themselves
Admit it, at some point in time you’ve tried to see if you had superpowers.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sandwiches are tasty, rhyming is hard
Who decided that the abbreviation for pound should be two letters not in the word?
A Slinky is a great way to teach young children that it`s fun to push things down the stairs.
QVC has agreed to purchase the Home Shopping Network for around $2 Billion...OR just 100,250,627 easy payments of $19.95!
Don`t you wish common sense would make a big comeback.
To Do List: 1: Buy a knife 2: Call it kindness 3: Kill people with Kindness