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The doctor told me I need more greens in my diet. So I have switched to mint Oreos.
Everyone is gifted. But not everyone opens their present.
Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations.
Is it called NASCAR because that’s the way a hillbilly pronounces “nice car?”
Sometimes when i`m following a recipe and it says to bake at 350 degrees, I will turn it up to 355 just to be a rebel.
My retirement plan is just $1,000 & a plane ticket to wherever these kids are living on 15 cents a day.
If you ever need anything please don`t hesitate to ask someone else first.
yo fellas how did that "wow" comment you left on that girls facebook picture play out
When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
I`m a little stumped by this beer to pee volume ratio.
I got a free wallet and watch today. It`s like this gun is magic.
Nothing is more heartbreaking than unappreciated sarcasm!
I was only 6 numbers away from winning the powerball.
Traffic would be awesome if we all drove hamster balls.
Most people are lucky they can’t hear what I’m thinking.