Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
I love it when I Google something I should know the answer to and find out 308 people are just as dumb as I am.
PRO TIP: You can use crunchy food to block out conversations of people you hate.
2 can keep a secret if one of them is dead...
I love my friends unconditionally.* *Certain terms and conditions may apply. May not be available on all days. Coverage not available in all locations.Offer good for 30 days.Requires two-year minimum agreement. Fees applied for activation and early termination.
Bumper stickers are helpful for recognizing members of society you do not want to associate with.
Does the 5 second rule apply to soup? Please answer quickly!
A fun thing to do is comment "that ain`t the girl you were with at the bar the other night" on all my married friends Facebook family photos
If you get angry, just take deep breaths and count to ten. Unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
i wonder if fish get thirsty .
Does this couch Iām laying on make me look unmotivated?
Women want a lot of things from one man. Conversely, men want one thing from a lot of women.
Yeah I`m married, but get one thing straight,,, I do WHAT I want, WHEN I wanhjkjhgfd,, THIS IS SCOTT`S WIFE, HE HAS TO GO NOW, HE SAYS GOODNIGHT.
When it gets nice out I`m going to have a roof party and after that`s done have a painting party inside, come all
To all the students who drop out of high school: Remember two things, 1) You tried your best. 2) I don`t like pickles on my BigMac.