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I don`t know what everyone`s complaining about. The economy looks great from my parents` basement.
I think before we vote we should get the politicians drunk. That way they would speak what`s REALLY on their minds.
The circus may no longer come to town but at least we’re guaranteed to always see a few clowns in Washington.
The phrase “Don’t take this the wrong way.” has a zero percent success rate.
Facebook is the best place to say whatever you want. If it doesn’t go over well you can just say you were hacked.
If u think someone (me) is cute u should tell them (me)
I`m emotionally constipated. I haven`t given a crap in days...
If people in horror movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
Smiling gives you wrinkles. Resting bitch face keeps you pretty.
People really need to get with the times. Smartphones are not for talking anymore.
Boobs are like model trains. They were originally for children but grown men always want to play with them.
I don`t even know why chicks spend so much time and money on their hair when all guys look at is their tits.
I paid My 11 year old $10 to do the dishes, then on her way to the bathroom I mugged her...because, you know, life lesson.
I can paint the house and buy new furniture and my kids won`t notice, but, buy a new phone case...
Don’t get me wrong, you are hot as hell, I am just too lazy to stalk right now.