Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
Don`t you love followers that don`t acknowledge your existence. Its so cute. Its like I have tiny marriages all over the world.
It would be cool if you heard a thunder bug a few seconds after you saw a lightning bug.
Think of me as an idea. A really, really bad idea.
I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.
Of course morning sex is better. You haven`t spent the day annoying the crap out of each other yet.
For the record, you`ll need a turntable needle.
My phone just filmed a 6 hour documentary about life inside my pocket
Grown up pandas eat for 12 hours a day. In related news, it turns out I’m not fat. I’m a panda.
Dear Vegetarians, Thanks for saving the good food for us.
I can`t unfriend you because I really enjoy watching the disaster that is your life.
Now if you’ll excuse me, tonight’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.
I like to start my day by taking a shower, having some coffee and going online for 14-16 hours.
Some of you are like family to me. I don’t want you calling me either.
People who really love their jobs are annoying. Keep that sh!t to yourself.