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It`s real cute how pedestrians confuse "right of way" with immortality.
I came across 3 snakes while mowing the yard today, but those of you in North America already know that because you heard me scream
Of course your opinion matters. Just not to me.
Since I`m getting older I`ve been thinking about my health. Should I work out 2 hrs a day like Jack Lalanne who was 96? Or smoke cigars like George Burns who lived to be 100?
Well it`s about time I get in line for that Star Wars movie
The perfect time for a snack is while you’re waiting for another snack to finish cooking.
Someone`s gotta break it to people under 25 that cameras can also point away from themselves.
The only difference between sex and breakfast is sometimes I don`t want breakfast.
the only correct answer to are u ticklish? is i have explosive diareha right now
The Four Seasons, by Facebook: Spring: LOOK FLOWERS! Summer: LOOK AT MY DASHBOARD TEMP! Fall: LOOK LEAVES! Winter: MORE DASHBOARD PICS!
Spring cleaning: The term that gives us an excuse to only clean once a year.
My "To Do" list today only had one entry: "Nothing". And it took me all day to finish it!
I always put in a full eight hours at work. Spread out over the course of the week.
I`m smiling, that alone should scare you.
I`m going to hire two private detectives to follow each other .