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How many men does it take to open a beer? None! It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. At least for the pictures...
"Kids are great when you need help around the house." - People who don`t have kids
A good man can make you feel sexy, strong, and able to take on the world ...Oh sorry ...That`s wine ...Wine does that.
Cooking Tip: If you`re tired of always having to boil water everytime you make pasta, boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze it for later ... you`re welcome!
There’s nothing better than when someone you know walks by without recognizing you.
If I had to choose between Star Wars and Star Trek, I`d probably choose beer.
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
My girlfriend wants to get married. I hope she finds someone nice.
I’ve realized I get ridiculously nervous driving behind semi’s or trucks carrying sh!t that could fall out and impale me all because of final destination 2.
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
If you see me smiling in public it means I’m laughing at the jokes I tell myself in my head.
You might think you`re smart until you try using someone else`s microwave.
My nickname at work is "HR wants to see you"
Perfect girls are found at every corner of the earth... unfortunately, the earth is round.