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It`s pretty cool how vodka always has such `great` ideas.
I`m just a few smartphone apps away from never having to talk to anyone again.
Nothing like responsibility to ruin a perfectly good day.
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn`t hear you the first 100 times.
The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Every woman needs a shoulder to cry on, a shoulder to lean on and a shoulder to hold her bra strap on!!!
Life is what happens when you’re not looking at a screen.
I`m old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?
The 21st century: When deleting history is more important than making it.
All these women on the 48 dating sites I`ve joined, seem so f*cking sad and desperate.
I am NOT high maintenance, I simply have more preferences than most.
Trouble is just fun you got caught having.
I don´t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.