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PLEASE - put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn`t know, they can also breathe fire. 93% of people won`t copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.
Just printed out 50 copies of today’s weather forecast to carry around with me today because I’m just not in the mood for small talk.
It is amazing how a nice pair of boobs can hide serious flaws and signs of mental illness until after you marry them!
I wished I loved anything as much as white people love saying "gracias" at Mexican restaurants.
You’re not an easy person to like….I like that about you.
Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other,it`s given me another reason to stare.
I think it`s really strange how some people talk to their animals, give them personalities and make up voices for them. My dog, Benjamin, agrees with me.
Don’t ask me again” is my favorite computer button that I wish was also a real life button.
Making mirrors look good, since 1972
Since my ear surgery I haven`t heard from my doctor. Not sure if that`s a good thing or not.
On one issue, at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.
When finding someone to date, drinking compatibility is more important than you think.
Well, if you`re going to question my reputation and credentials as a gynecologist,I suggest you get the hell out of my office van.
From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys "partying"
Tarantulas are like cigarettes. They are pretty much harmless, until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.