Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Since there’s only one of me, does that make me an endangered species?
I dont want to sound like a badass or anything but I play Wii without the wrist strap on....
Nobody’s phone is ever off. They’re lying.
How do they even grow boneless chicken`s?
Imagine how much faster Olympic sprinters could run if they saw their wives going through their phones at the finish line
Wish I turned into a wolf every month instead of getting my period
I love that moment when I`m cruising down the highway listening to country music and I suddenly realize "wait a minute I can change the station!"
I bet genies were a real thing until one jerk wished for genies not to exist anymore.
Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn`t made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.
According to my iPhone Health app, I walked 1,787 steps around this Golden Corral buffet tonight .... So I got that going for me.
I might get a job cleaning mirrors,its a job I can see myself doing.
I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do... And for those who like country music, denigrate means ‘to speak badly of`.
I swear, if one more person calls me an alcoholic they are getting a high five too.
The truth might set you free, but lying might keep you out of jail.
just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I`m so confused