Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
is 100% sure that you are looking at my status. (:
You can tell how a persons life is going by how they press the crosswalk button.
Do people who run know that we’re not food anymore.
Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn’t have any pictures of me either.
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%…unless you’re donating blood…
The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That`s 15 minutes, right? I`m not reading too much into it?
There is literally no way of knowing how many chameleons are in your house.
If you ain`t laughin, you ain`t livin!
She said she was stripping to feed her kids but then got pissed when I started throwing canned goods at her
I once wrestled an anaconda for 4 straight hours... Then I realized I was just masturbating.
I don`t know if my stomach is growling cuz I`m hungry or if that`s my liver crying cuz it`s the weekend.
I`m not a doctor, but I play one on eHarmony.
I didn`t have access to Facebook for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 17 books and showered.
Sometimes my sarcasm is so intense that even I’m not sure if I’m kidding or not.
You don’t have to be drunk to love me, but it helps