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Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
One of the first things they tell you in AA is to stop hanging around alcoholics. So I listened, and never went back.
You should probably first master the art of thinking “inside” the box
There really isn`t much difference between being a kid and being an adult. I was just as emotionally crippled upon learning the truth about Penthouse Letters as I was about Santa Claus.
FACT: The "sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t" is not really a good defense in court
You bring everyone a lot of joy ... when you leave the room.
"Why do you hate me"? I say as I attempt to hold my cat like a baby
I don’t know why Tampax and Hershey have not joined forces yet. Taping a pack of Reese’s to a box of tampons could literally save lives.
I always stip to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porn starts off.
How am I supposed to get any work done with all this work I have to do?
It`s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
I`m no cactus expert, but I know a pr!ck when I see one
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food
A part of me wants to go on a diet and eat healthy. Sadly that part of me is a liar.
Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Hell Yes.