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I know that no means no, but that`s about the extent of my Spanish.
My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it`s because she`s a big dumb stinkyhead that`s jealous of my awesome Transformers collection.
One time I asked some girl what she was thinking. By the time she finished her thought we had 2 children.
The iPad Air is named after what`s left in your bank account when you buy one.
Put on my workout clothes before going to the donut store just to give the impression I earned this.
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn`t concentrate.
I am not judging you...I already decided I don`t like you
Neighbor said hi again. I`m just gonna move
I don`t think any of my vampire jokes will ever see the light of day.
The funny moment when a fat kid says "that`s how I roll".
Sometimes I wonder if these old men sitting on the benches in the mall waiting on their wives to finish shopping were old when they sat down!?
Her: I love it when we finish each other`s Him: pancakes
If you were dating an FBI agent and you broke up, they would be your fed ex.
I`m smiling ... You should be scared.
I`m going to become a hermit as soon as I find a cave with a decent wifi connection.