Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
If everyone would stop screaming, I`m sure we`d all agree I`m not supposed to be in this women`s restroom.
My high school girlfriend got "uses her kids as her facebook profile picture" fat.
If Facebook changed "poke" to "stab" I would use it all the time.
Why do we feel safe under blankets? It`s not like a murderer will come in thinking "I`m gonna ki..- ahh damn! He`s under a blanket
It`s that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids.
Not everything on CNN is fake news. Some of it is commercials.
you know what`s funny? Obviously neither do I or I would have posted it.
I wish electronics would scream a little bit when you unplugged them.
So, you`re telling me that the Grammys aren`t cute little bags of cocaine?
I wouldn`t say I "missed" your call.
After a night of heavy drinkin’ there’s one thing I can’t stand… and that’s up.
I`m going to clean my house today and by clean I mean I`m drinking vodka and spraying Febreze everywhere.
Show some cleavage on bad hair days.
I need to tell you something. I know it is going to break your heart and maybe you will not talk to me after the bad news. But I want you to hear it from me first instead of hearing it from someone else. This is going to make you cry I know. I first thought I must just keep quiet about it but I know it will not be fair on you. I am so ashamed to have to do this but you need to know the truth. Don`t be mad at me please. I will understand if you never want to hear from me ever again but it m