Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
United States is where moms get a day and shark get a whole week.
I have a life, I have the best life in the world. Oh wait sitting around watching Netflix and eating pizza rolls isn`t a life. I guess i was wrong then. :( bummer
I do not like being told what to do unless I`m naked.
Procrastinating is just enjoying all the side quests in life whilst you delay the main quest story mission
First world problems: I couldn’t hear the TV so I had to stop eating chips.
There are so many scams on the Internet now. Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them.
75% of men kiss their wives good bye when leaving the house. 100% kiss their house good bye when leaving their wives.
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
People who say "I hate to bother you" need to learn to hate it a little bit more.
Living with a child is like using a blender with no lid...
Why is it called Boob Sweat and not Humiditties?
in wine there is wisdom. in beer there is freedom. in water there is... umm bacteria
Nothing is quite as scary as hearing your doorbell ring on the same night you made a blood sacrifice to the dark lord.
The less you know, the more you think you do.
I just bought a house, car and a boat with no payments until 2013. Those f`ing Mayans better be right…