Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Still haven`t taken down the Christmas tree. Screw it. We now have a Super Bowl tree.
"Hey! Aren`t you that guy from the village people?" - Me, to every cop who pulls me over
Live in the moment. Unless the moment sucks. Then live on Facebook.
How can you tell if a smurf has the blues?
A “buttload” of underwear would be exactly one pair.
Facebook needs a "slap a b!tch button"
Hold boobs not grudges.
Cashier: "Would you like to donate to charity today or are you a giant piece of sh!t?"
I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9.
My blood test came back as B+ Any tips how I can get an A+ next time?
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
I`m a big advocate of the `You started it` method of defense in an argument.
Never change. Unless you’re an a$$hole. Then you should probably change a little.
FANNNN...DANNNNN....GOOOOO. Breathe The A`s.
The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself.