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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

She asked me for time and distance. I guess she wants to calculate velocity.
Stop screaming, lady. All I said was `this is how pornos start`. It`s just elevator talk.
The male version of a tramp stamp should be called a douche tag.
Dating a single mother is like pressing continue on some one elses saved game
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
People who walk down the escalator. Stop it, we have enough over achievers!
I can`t remember if I have any repressed memories.
I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today. On the front they say `I would do anything for love`. On the back, `But I wont do that!`
I`m sorry, all I hear is your perfume
Overwhelming scientific evidence suggests a startling number of people are capable of ignoring overwhelming scientific evidence.
Uhm, excuse me waiter... I`d like to return my food. It only received 5 likes on Instagram.
Why do they call a status a status if it already happened? I mean, shouldnt it be called History?
hates when IΒ΄m singing along with the radio and the artist messes up the words!
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
Whoever said you can’t β€œlike” your own status is just not awesome enough to do it.