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Thinks that thinking about thoughts of thinking are too thinkable for thoughts to be thought about thinking, I think.
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to simply ignore you.
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I’m flattered.
To all my Facebook friends. Have a happy St. Patrick`s day, and all the festivities this weekend. Stay safe, enjoy life, and if you by chance happen to find a bartender who is bad at math...give me a call :)
The way my kids act at Walmart, it`s just a matter of time before the security camera footage is a hit reality show!
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey, but I’ve turned myself around.
I always see more people walking into Sam`s Club than out of Sam`s Club, but the meat`s cheap, so I don`t ask questions.
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff. He then turned to his mother and said "Look Mom! No Hans!"
I have never met a woman without wondering what her box of cookie recipes looks like.
Never run after a man or a bus, there is always another one coming.
Roses are red, so is my wine. Refill my glass and I`ll be just fine.
Is your drama going to have an intermission soon? I need to pee.
Trail Mix: M&Ms with obstacles
Any wife can be a trophy wife if you bring her to a Taxidermist.