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If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33.3% chance you are being used as a napkin.
Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
I saved someone`s life today. Well, I resisted the urge to strangle the life out of some idiot. That`s the same thing, right?
Not to cause a panic but i`m starting to think we`re running out of things to stuff inside pizza crust.
My workout plan really only consists of me wandering around in parking lots because I forgot where I parked...
Man, those 2013 Mayan Calenders are REALLY hard to find...
Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
"2 weeks with my baby xoxoxo" lol,calm down romeo&juliet.
You can`t make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them & hope they panic & give in.
Sometimes I feel like a loser for spending so much time on Facebook. Then I remember there are people out there who comment on pornhub videos
Do you think that the guy that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
Eventually, the entire written English language will be taken over by emoticons. Teenage girls will bring us back to Egyptian hieroglyphics.
According to customer service I can not bring sexy back... Without the receipt, apparently.
Suggested serving size is only for skinny people right?
So apparently RSVP-ing to a wedding invite with "Maybe next time" wasn`t the best response. Who knew?