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Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
I decided to go on a road trip and not come back till I ran out of money... I made it to the end of the driveway.
My mom put shredded carrots in our Jello, so don`t tell me about your rough childhood.
?-- that guy is cute ?
I`m an adult. I can eat a cupcake for breakfast & call it a muffin if I want
I`m sorry I snort-laughed when you were saying your vows.
I bet when Hugh Hefner dies no one will say "He`s in a better place now."
Call me faithless, but I just can`t believe three guys would travel that far on camels to throw a baby shower.
The new neighbors moved in today. I brought them a box of condoms to show how much I don`t want anymore children living on our street.
Happy Elastic Waistband Day
If you don`t leave a buffet looking like someone told you bad news you didn`t get your money`s worth.
U still drunk from last night or did u get a new buzz going this morning.
Breast awareness month: we stare because we care
If there is such thing as a fake noodle, does that make it an impasta?
A blind man walks into a bar....and a stool....and a table....