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Things that schools worry about Drugs 1% Graduating 1% drop outs 1% the inportance of using a number 2 pencil on standardized tests 97%
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Marriage tip: Don`t
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
If you can´t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don´t know where you are.
My tricks aren`t for kids.
If you don`t pay your exorcist do you get repossessed?
You would never know I had a college degree if you saw how many times I tried to push when it says pull.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
Saw someone try and park a car for about 10 minutes. I didn’t see the person so I’m not going to assume what gender she was.
My neighbor was singing in the shower again this morning. I didn’t mind though as I can`t hear anything through the telescope.
"There`s strength in numbers" I whisper to my 9th slice of pizza.
I wish I had money so I could be eccentric instead of just weird.
I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean if you want an autograph or a picture just ask..!
The best part of being single is that you always get to be right.