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So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra.
Ladies, if he calls you crazy, don`t get upset. Crazy girls are better in bed so take it as a compliment. But stab him, just in case...
Random Thought: How do bats hang upside down without crapping on themselves?
I regret buying that straight jacket now. I thought it would look good on me but I just couldn`t pull it off...
Pork is awesome, but it`s best when used as a verb.
If a clown farts, does it smell funny?
I`m alone in my car ... Counting it as a vacation.
My entire existence is just me sitting around waiting to get hungry again.
Hey babe, go to Google Earth, zoom in on your house. See that blue cap in the bushes? Hi!
homework wont kill me, but why take the risk!
It`s hard to trust people. Even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
If you are offended by the words "In God We Trust" on your money, then send it to me. I don`t mind it at all.
I think it has become obvious that medicine companies have no idea what fruit tastes like.
Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonalds... Not funny, grow up.
“Nothing is impossible.” I disagree. I’m doing nothing right now… it’s totally possible.