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You never really know someone until you break up with them. If they don’t go crazy and try to kill you than maybe you should give them a second chance.
Anyone else see the irony in Disney World?.. You know, the fact that it`s a giant human trap, ...set by a mouse.
If I were a cashier I`d pretend people were waiting in line to kiss me.
Yeah, you go ahead and climb that mountain "because it`s there", I am going to eat this Pizza "because it`s here"................................
My greatest fear is that PMS is fake and this is my real personality.
Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don`t apply the brakes
I might not be "Smarter Than a 5th Grader", but I can buy booze! Booyah!
hey single people..tomorrow is officially `rebound day` after all the ridiculously high romantic expectations end in `epic fail`
It doesn`t matter if you don`t like my personality... I have several more!
The Internet: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle.
I`m probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club.
Ever notice how it`s never your successful friends posting inspirational quotes?
Apparently taking a nap does not qualify as "doing some undercover work"
"Have you ever wondered if the $1 bills in your wallet were ever in a stripper butt? - You`re wondering now!!!"