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If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody will stop a person running with a fire extinguisher.
It’s ok if you don’t agree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
I don`t need to go to church in order to feel ashamed of myself on Sunday morning.
I try to live every day as though it were my last, and who wants to do laundry on the last day they’re alive?
Just farted in 3 different languages! Thanks, Rosetta Stone!
I get more excited seeing my luggage on a baggage carousel than I do seeing a person I know.
Michael Schumacher`s former crew just visited him in the hospital. They changed the wheels on his bed and his drip in 4.4 secs.
I wonder how many 5 Hour Energy`s it would take to levitate?
Shout out to people who are hard of hearing.
FACT: How kids feel about snow days is the exact opposite of how parents feel about snow days.
If women would start naming their periods like hurricanes it would be alot easier for us men to remember which argument you are referring to.
Yea, there is no "I" in team... but there sure is "ME".
i just opened a fortune cookie and it started with the word unfortuneatly
Alright, I give up! I`ve listened to the song like 50 times now, and I still don`t know what the fox is saying!