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I had hopes and dreams. Now I have vodka and the internet.
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead, but other people do. The same applies when you are stupid.
Nothing says "I dont take you seriously" like your dog wagging his tail when you`re yelling at him.
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? ;)
Phones are getting smarter and thinner. People, not so much.
I`m celebrating 1 year of sobriety today ... I think it was 1989 ... Cheers!
Oh cool! ... I really do not care.
Two wrongs may not make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.
i like cake. and thats all for today goodbye :)
People keep mistaking my "wow"s for compliments.
To all who called into work drunk today. Happy St Patrick`s Day.
Sometimes when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
I party like a rockstar. A very poor rockstar who isn`t in a band.
I don`t use cocaine, I just like the way it smells.
Of course I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.