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Well kids, texting wasn`t always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You had to click that 7 button FOUR TIMES.
I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
Spilling a full beer you paid for is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.
My life is like a romantic comedy expect there’s no romance and it’s just me laughing at my own jokes
I have no problem giving credit when credit is due. It’s giving payment when payment is due that I seem to struggle with.
It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. It will be dark. It will be light. Then I`m back. Me, explaining a vacation to my cat.
Are you guys sure common sense can`t be beaten into people ? Because I`d like to give it try!
Dear Santa: I have been good for the past week or so. Lets just focus on that.
There is a 100% chance that I’ve called some of the most wonderful people in the world the most horrible things imaginable while in traffic.
If the shoe fits, wear it. Unless they`re not yours. But you can still were them. It`s just a road test, after all.
Always remember, it`s better to arrive late than to arrive ugly.
How do we know that all the ancient Greek sculptures aren`t just victims of Medusa?
That awkward moment when you take a bath in the middle of the day and don`t know whether to wear normal clothes or pajamas.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I`m very disappointed with all of you.
I`ve upped my driving skills, no go Up yours!