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I have a disease called AWESOME...You don`t understand it since you don`t have it.
If this world got any smaller I`d probably fall off - George T. Ignace
Can Walmart be a feeling? I`m pretty sure that`s how I`m feeling today.
I am tired of men complaining about women complaining about men complaining about women
Do these `Skinny Jeans` make my blood circulation look more than purple or less than purple?
is in that awkward phase of the day between never drinking again and noon.
Most of you like waking up in the morning to see the "comments" and "likes" that your status received. I like waking up in the morning to see WTF I posted!
The only human interaction I want for the rest of the day is the exchange of money between me and the liquor store cashier
“Get your panties in a bunch” would make a great slogan at Costco.
OMG, you`re huge! There`s no way you`ll fit inside me.- My clothes probably.
Do not keep all your work for tomorrow, always remember you can also do it the day after tomorrow.. Be lazy, Think crazy.
The difference between a straight girl and a lesbian is about four or five drinks.
Nothing says love like hearing a toilet flush on the other end of the phone.
if drinking destroys your memory .... what does drinking do ?
Before Walmart you had to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded lady!