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SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
I was a huge tomboy. Like, I had barbies, but only because my ninja turtles needed bitches.
It should cost $10 to leave someone a voicemail.
In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik`s Cube to solve it
Timehop... reminding us that the stupid people we know today were just as stupid 5 years ago.
Learn a lesson from your dog. No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that crap and move on.
When I drink I become everybody`s friend which makes up for my hating everybody when I`m sober.
If you pull the pin out of a grenade, can you put it back in and let go? I`m going to need a quick answer for this....
Overwhelming scientific evidence suggests a startling number of people are capable of ignoring overwhelming scientific evidence.
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
Ghetto wet floor sign: Caution Bitches Be Trippin
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who really do.
Drinking Game: Tape a fake mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone`s face.
Sometimes I wish I was a nicer person but then I laugh and continue my day.
The best part about pooping with the bathroom door open in the morning is being able to see everyones face at Starbucks.