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Two days is not enough time for a weekend.
Sometimes I`m completely inconsiderate to other peoples feelings. And other times I`m asleep.
I`ll never understand why the guy that invented braille didn`t just put the dots in the shape of the actual letters.
I DON`T UNDERSTAND IT! WHY THE F*CK WOULD SOMEBODY BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CON - Never mind, I found it.
Grant me the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot, and a big-a$$ed pitcher of margaritas as “Plan B”
I’ve been searching for my stolen bed. And I won’t rest until I find it.
I must have a great butt because every time I finish talking with someone and start to walk away, I hear them whisper "What an a$$."
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
I said "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t." but the judge didn`t buy it.
Don’t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I’ve changed since then.
Energy conservation activists would get more attention if they called themselves power rangers.
I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean if you want an autograph or a picture just ask..!
After watching the "Schticky" ad, I am convinced now there are 8 wonders of the world.
I need a new bad decision.
People think I`m a hugger, but I`m actually shaking them down for snacks.