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lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
It`s not stretching if it doesn`t involve crazy dinosaur noises.
5 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date, today I asked her to marry me ... She said no both times
An apple a day is bullsh!t. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.
One time I snuck a whole rotisserie chicken into a movie, cause candy is for amateurs.
i don`t know what to say on your comment so i just hit "like" so you won`t be upset that ignored you.
If you`ve ever wondered why an animal is stupid enough to run into oncoming traffic on the highway, then you`ve obviously never been married.
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
If you ever come over unannounced, it`ll take me at least three minutes to answer the door because there is no way I was already wearing pants.
The first step is admitting you’re a problem.
I recently jumped on the back of my psychologist and started counting...1...2...3 and he was so suprised asking me what I was doing and I answered offendedly: "Well you`re the one who said I could always count on you !"
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember all the things I was suppose to do.
Why get married when you can just drive into oncoming traffic?
Him: What to play Trivial Pursuit? Her: Sure, But I,m not that smart. Him: What to play strip Trivial Pursuit?
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa