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Apparently nothing offends a toddler more than suggesting they might be due for a nap.
Apparently, “I had an interview with a better company” is not an acceptable reason for being late for work.
first show me the benefits and then I`ll decide if we can be friends.
Is beer cheaper off the kids menu
I wish they made barstools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
You have to hand it to Subway for convincing us it`s acceptable to eat an entire loaf of bread for lunch.
My Ex-Wife: Our relationship is like being in prison! ME: I don’t think so. People have sex in prison.
I think sharks eat people just to be on tv.
If you`ve had cats, the singles virus may already be inside you.
Please no one tell me what happens on the NFL today; I`m still on Season 8.
Ladies first. Because it might be dangerous.
hates when I´m singing along with the radio and the artist messes up the words!
The baby gets furious when I try to undress him. Must get that from his mother.
Fun Game: Walk down a hallway with both arms outstretched to the walls while shouting, "Hug me or turn around!!!"
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.