Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Trust me, you want me medicated!!
Alright, I admit it. Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
What do you call a dog with no hind legs? Dragon Balls.
By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I`ve likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.
I know you`re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?
That disappointing moment when you pull up to work and it`s not fully engulfed in fire.
Woke up to gun shots this morning. Luckily my wife has horrible aim.
My friend told me he`s going to have a sex change. Apparently, he just wants to eat, drink, and be Mary.
I`m sorry, we can`t hire you. But your background check was hilarious.
According to WebMD I have déjà vu... but not only that, I also have déjà vu according to WebMD.
Show me on the back of your mini van window where your life went wrong.
Pretending to be a functioning adult is exhausting.
People should have to pass an IQ test to use the self-checkout section.
You can only push me so far before I breakdance.
When will they start calling marijuana dispenseries grass stations?